With about ten minutes left of day #4, I'm going to write this quickly, post it, and update it tomorrow.
Month of Gratitude #4: Music
I have a number of friends who I'm sure will agree with me that music is essential in their lives. Whether it be for working, working out, to invite the Spirit, personal enjoyment, or even just to get in a certain mood, music is great and can make you feel a number of emotions.
My music library is full of a massive assortment of artists and genres, and I add to it all the time, based on recommendations from friends or just things I hear that I like. And I almost always have a set of headphones on me so I can enjoy some tunes while I'm on the go. It truly is something I'm grateful for, especially because of how diverse it is and how influential it can be for literally billions of people around the world.
Almost forgot this today! Yes, this is technically being posted on the 4th, but I started this post on the 3rd, so I say it still counts. Month of Gratitude #3: Movies
As I've stated a few times before on this blog, I am a huge fan of movies, owning a sizable amount in my personal collection. I love being able to delve into another world for a period of time and experience things that I might not be able to on my own. Yes, books, songs, and television shows can do the same thing, but movies are great because they're often able to help one better capture what the original writer had in mind.
I think a perfect example of this is the Harry Potter franchise; I love all of the books, and as soon as the first movie came out I was instantly a fan of Daniel Radcliffe's portrayal of the now world-famous character. We got to experience his transition of the plain world he knew to the magical castle Hogwarts with him. We watched him grow and mature alongside Ron and Hermione, and went through a lot of the same things they did as we followed them throughout the years. We rejoiced in his successful Quidditch matches, we cried with him at Dumbledore's death, and we felt that same relief after the demise of Voldemort. Obviously the transition from the page to screen doesn't always work perfectly, but when it does it is truly a – dare I say it – magical experience. (Yes, I went there.)
I'm going to write more about this tomorrow, so again I can just get this posted and head to bed. But movies are most certainly on my list of things I'm grateful for.
I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormon church. I've been a member of it all my life, with my parents raising all us kids in it. My mom's family has actually been members for generations, dating back to when the pioneers were crossing the country, but my dad was the first member of his family to be baptized and become LDS. He went on a mission to France shortly after he was baptized, and when he got home he decided to attend Brigham Young University (an LDS school) instead of Vanderbilt, and subsequently ended up meeting my mom there. I served a mission in southern Brazil, preaching and teaching others about my faith, and I'm immensely glad that I did, because I saw how much good it did in the lives of others. And now I'm at BYU as well, and I'm incredibly grateful for the clean, high-standard environment that it maintains. I've been to other university campuses (including a few in Illinois, one close to Provo, the University of Utah in Salt Lake City, and over the summer I went to one in Kentucky for a week of work) and by far this is one of the nicest I've ever been to. I feel that a lot of it, if not almost all of it, is because of the standards implemented by the Church.
Because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life, I have a solid foundation of what to believe in. I can make choices that I know will make me happy in life. That happiness is brought about because I'm keeping God's commandments, and from reading the scriptures written by various prophets throughout the ages, we know that that happiness truly is one of the blessings that God gives to us. It's a tried-and-true method that I guarantee works, because I've experienced it for myself: living the Gospel and striving to keep the standards and commandments brings long-term happiness.
Does it seem weird at times, what we do? Does it seem restrictive? Church for three hours every week (longer for some, with meetings before or after the standard block of hours every Sunday). No drinking alcohol, coffee, or tea. No smoking or other drugs. No sex before marriage. No, no, no, no, no. Seems almost weird compared to the standards of the world today. But here's the thing: I don't even want to do most of the stuff we're "told" not to do. Again, we have standards in place not to restrict us but rather to remind us what things will keep us safe from harm, out of trouble, and in good spirits.
Do we believe some crazy things sometimes? Like the fact that our spirits existed before we were born on Earth, and that one day we'll all be resurrected? And that based on our actions in this life we have a chance to live with our Heavenly Father? And that we have living prophets who help us know exactly what it is we need to do in order to get there? That might seem crazy to some, but to me it makes a lot more sense than a God who just decides if people go to heaven or hell, that's it, no questions asked. Or believing in reincarnation, where after I die in this life I'll come back to life as some other animal somewhere in the world. And it makes a lot more sense, and is more comforting to me, than not believing in anything at all.
Seriously, there are times when I just look at the sunset and pay attention to all the vibrant colors, or the sun peeking out through the clouds on a rainy day. And I look up, and just think that there is no way that it was all just random happenstance. Someone had to have made all this. Someone organized it all, created it all perfectly. And whoever did... well, I'd like to live with him. Learn from him. Be like him, and be able to make some of the same things. Now doesn't that sound awesome?
I'm a Mormon, and I'm proud of it. Ask me about it some time, and I'll be more than happy to tell you about it.
With Thanksgiving coming up this month, I thought I'd take the opportunity to write down some things that I'm grateful for in my life. But I really can't narrow everything down to just one post, so every single day I'm going to write a post about the thing I'm thankful for. Hopefully in later years I can continue this trend, because I know there are more than just thirty things I'm grateful for. So I'll just jump right into it, then.
#1: My family
I come from a decent-sized family that's grown a lot in just the past few years. Both of my parents are still alive and well (Rich and Lisa), I've got an older brother (Chris), two older sisters (Lindsay and Katie), and a younger sister (Sarah). Chris is going to get married at the beginning of December to a fine woman named Amanda, and Katie has been married for seven years to her husband Joe. Katie and Joe currently have three kids, Claire, Caleb, and Evalyn, with a fourth arriving pretty shortly. We've also had a number of pets over the years, including a number of fish, a guinea pig, and a few dogs, all of which I like to include as family as well. And I have a number of aunts and uncles from both sides of the family, with so many cousins I can't keep track of them all.
There is a lot that I can say about my family, so it's hard to pick just a few aspects about them that I'm grateful for. But probably one of the biggest qualities that first comes to mind is that they're incredibly supportive. And it's the good kind of support, too; I feel like I've tried to make a lot of good decisions in my life, and any time I asked them for help (or even if I didn't) they would be there cheering me on with those good decisions. If I was ever making a bad choice, they'd show their concern and counsel a lot with me about what I was doing and help me try to get back on the right path. Even if I didn't show it then, those times that they helped me make the right decisions are some of the ones I'm most thankful for, because I can see where I would have ended up in a lot of situations if I went with those bad choices.
My family's often just fun to be around. A few weeks ago we had a reunion of sorts up at my parents' home, with almost everyone from my mom's side of the family coming to visit for a while. Despite not being familiar with everyone there, I felt more like I was at home than many other places I've been in the last few years. Pleasantly comfortable would probably be the best way I could describe it.
I consider my family members my friends in a lot of ways as well. I've spent a good amount of one-on-one time with each of them, whether it be to go see a movie, going out to dinner, taking a road trip, or even just hanging out and talking. I can think of specific times with everyone (at least in my immediate family) where we've spent time together to grow that personal bond.
I love my family, and words can't describe just how grateful I am that they're mine. And I get to be with them forever.
I've been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (i.e. I'm a Mormon) for all my life, and if you didn't know that by now... well, where have you been?
Seriously, though, I love being a Mormon, and one of the aspects of the LDS faith is that we have these things called temples. Without going into too much detail for now, as I plan to do so next month, temples are a place we consider to be holy – we call each one "The House of the Lord." Every single one I've been to, every time I've been, I've found that I immediately feel peace. I feel calm. I feel at home.
Below are pictures (some of which I took myself, noted by a * if you're curious) of all of the temples I've visited. It's near impossible for me to choose a favorite one, because they're all simply beautiful and special to me in their own way.
Provo, Utah*
Mt. Timpanogos, Utah*
Seattle, Washington
São Paulo, Brazil
San Diego, California
Salt Lake City, Utah
St. Louis, Missouri
Oakland, California
Campinas, Brazil
Porto Alegre, Brazil*
Manti, Utah
Nauvoo, Illinois
This post will be edited in the future as I visit more temples – currently, there are 143 temples in use around the world, with 27 currently being built or previously announced.
I mentioned above that I'll go into detail next month about what temples are, because November (being the month of Thanksgiving) will be my "grateful posts" month. Every day I'm going to talk about something I'm grateful for, and temples are definitely on that list.
I've debated posting this one for a while, worrying how, like other posts in this series, it might get some mixed reactions. But reminding myself that this is my blog, my thoughts, my opinions on whatever topic – I shouldn't let other people's opinions stop me from expressing what's on my mind.
When I fall for someone, I tend to fall pretty hard. Just being honest. I'm not entirely sure why, but I think a big part of it might have to do with the idea of how much happier life would be with an eternal companion at my side. (Note that I'm saying happier. Not necessarily easier. But definitely happier.) So that idea of a happier life is implanted in my head and when I get the slightest inclination that there's a possibility with someone, part of me latches on. Despite that possibility just being a total figment of my imagination, and that particular someone is just showing their kindness/personality/whatever.
I guess part of what I'm saying is that I could very possibly misinterpret when a girl is flirting and when she isn't, and that's because there are times when my mind gets so fixated on that idea of happiness with an eternal companion, so it just accepts it all as "yes, she likes you and is interested in you." For clarification, here's some of what I normally interpret as flirting:
- unnecessary, but friendly physical contact
- spending time around you and making it obvious that they're there for you
- paying extra attention to you
- inviting you to do things with them, especially one-on-one
- initiating conversations frequently
- going out of their way to make you feel special/wanted/loved, either by word or gift
- remembering your special events/days
Those are the only ones that come to mind for now. Obviously those aren't all the ways to flirt (I'm fairly certain that women have their own languages that they use and communicate with, one of which is only through eye contact), and usually it's a combination of some or all of these that would really make it obvious that you're showing interest in someone. And it's not that I consider myself a master of the art, but I've definitely been attempting to "woo" various women that I've been interested in for some time… and, frankly, I have little to show for it.
A favorite movie of mine and among my friends, Hitch, explains something rather well. Particularly at the 1:45 mark. (Minor language warning a couple minutes after that.)
You can't just straight up tell someone that you like them. You can't. I don't know why you can't – I mean, honesty is supposed to be the best policy, right? – but any time I've tried doing so, it's blown up in my face. Here's how it usually goes, presented in GIF form:
Basically it starts like this...
...goes like this (with me as the guy holding the hoop)...
...and ends like this.
Just telling someone that you like them (from the Hitch clip above: "I like you." That's it!) doesn't seem to be a thing that happens at all anymore. If someone does do it, the action often comes across as brutish, unthoughtful, annoying, too forward, and/or tactless. Creativity is expected for almost everything – at least, that's the implication that's been built up in society. Seriously, I can already imagine how the situation would go: if I were to say to someone who I currently fancy that I like them, while one part of my mind wants it to play out beautifully, the "realist" side of my mind envisions it crashing and burning, with little chance of that girl talking to me ever again. Now, as to whether or not the "realist" side of me envisions that because it's actually right, or because that's what's been drilled into our heads over the last decade or so, I'm not sure what to believe. But the fact that it's hard to stay optimistic for something that, in theory, is so simple – that fact frustrates me to no end.
This was a sketch done by BYU's Divine Comedy a couple years ago, and while it's one of the ones that's received some of the biggest laughs I've ever seen it's almost painful as to how true it seems.
Most of it is Mallory trying to explain the signals girls give (and who knows if they're all accurate; again, I'm sure every girl has her own methods of communication), and towards the end she asks Adam for his explanation of men:
A: "So if I kiss you, I like you." M: "That's it?" A: "That's it. Men are simple: we like meat, kissing, and explosions."
Obviously men are a little more complicated than that, but it does narrow it down fairly well. And yes, I understand that men and women are different on many levels, and we're supposed to be different for many good reasons, but again the frustration comes in when we try to get up to their level and we're shot down for not doing things the "right way." Most of us have only ever known the one way, so give us some credit for trying things the way they appeal to you!
And if you're not interested, just be honest and upfront about it. Tell us, straight up, that you'd rather not pursue a relationship. You don't need to give a reason for it if you don't want to, because that's your personal reason. If you're worried about hurting or offending us, well... Yeah, it's probably gonna hurt, but it'll hurt a lot less than if things were to drag on for weeks or months without knowing how you actually feel about us. We can learn to bounce back and move on. For some it may take a while longer than others, but at the end of the day it's something we eventually just deal with.
New movies: hit up DI looking for possibilities to work on a new Halloween costume. Didn't find anything. Went to the movies section as a fallback. Was not disappointed.
Monster's Inc. [FINALLY another Disney movie for my collection, and a Pixar one to boot!]
Avatar [Special 3-disc edition, all discs still there and in good condition]
Muppet Treasure Island/The Great Muppet Caper [Blu-Ray and DVD combo pack, still in original packaging]
Pokémon: The First Movie – Mewtwo Strikes Back [Also still in original packaging]
I'm not sure how to start this post off. This subject is a little touchier than most that I write about.
If you've been on the internet in the last twenty-four hours, there's a very high chance that you've heard about the passing of Robin Williams, an actor known to many around the world. While his death is certainly tragic, for sure, it's also been revealed that he most likely committed suicide, caused by asphyxiation. That seems to be the thing hitting hardest to most people. How could a man, whose most famous contributions to society were for comedy, be considering something so dark and poorly understood? How could a man whose job it was to make people smile be dealing with depression?
Click if you need it to be bigger to read the text.
There are tons of things that we don't fully understand yet as humans. And one of the biggest ones is probably why we ever get depressed. Some say it's brought on by chemical imbalances. Some say that it's due to negative past experiences. I've even heard – not as recently, but I've heard – that it's just the person's attitude and they need to just pick themselves up. Whatever the case may be, we need to reach out to those who are ever feeling depressed and do our absolute best to make sure they know that they are loved and appreciated, and that we want to help.
There is a right and a wrong way to deal with death, especially those brought about by suicide. This, obviously, is not the right way of doing so:
Seriously, what good is it going to do you to watch the home of a family who just lost someone they loved?!
There is another thing that's happened, though, that's actually discussed very well in this article by the Washington Post. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, a.k.a. the people behind the Oscars, tweeted this out:
While the image is touching, it should not be interpreted as a way out of depression. NEVER should it be interpreted that way. And I'm sure the Academy didn't intend for it to come across that way; it seems to be more of a tribute than anything else. But please, please, please understand that suicide should never be seen as an escape from any problems that you deal with in this life. It shouldn't be considered an option, ever. And if you know of someone who is dealing with anything like this at all, reach out to them immediately. Let them know that there is help for them.
So how do we deal with those people who end up doing so anyway? Taking their own life, bringing us grief and pain because of their passing? What are we to expect is Mr. Williams' fate? Is he going to be cast down to hell for taking his own life away? Certainly we aren't meant to take life into our own hands; that's God's job, not ours.
If I have any non-Mormon friends who end up reading this blog post, I'm going to get a little religious here. Bear with me. We believe that we have apostles here on the earth who receive constant revelation from God and help us understand more about life and our purpose here on Earth. We have multiple websites to go to, where you can literally type in anything you want to know about, and there's a high chance that that topic has been discussed at some point. I did so on one of our main websites, lds.org, and typed in "suicide" just in the search bar at the top of the page. The first result gave me this:
Although it is wrong to take one's own life, a person who commits suicide may not be responsible for his or her acts. Only God can judge such a matter. Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said:
“Obviously, we do not know the full circumstances surrounding every suicide. Only the Lord knows all the details, and he it is who will judge our actions here on earth.
”When he does judge us, I feel he will take all things into consideration: our genetic and chemical makeup, our mental state, our intellectual capacity, the teachings we have received, the traditions of our fathers, our health, and so forth“ (”Suicide: Some Things We Know, and Some We Do Not,“ Ensign, Oct. 1987, 8).
There's also a link to the talk that Elder Ballard is quoted from, as well as a number to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline and its website, a link to a video made by the Church, and a link to LDS Family Services, which helps with issues like this and many others on a daily basis.
Matt Walsh, who is an infamous blogger on the web, posted today about Robin Williams' suicide. The title of the post is "Robin Williams didn't die from a disease, he died from his choice." Matt has posted about numerous topics before, most of which are the highly controversial ones of the day, and this one is no less controversial. He does say that it's something he doesn't fully understand and has been trying to for all his life (not sure if this means that he's dealt with depression all of his life or that he's just been struggling to understand it all that time), but the point he ultimately makes is that suicide is a choice that we make for ourselves, and we need to not make that choice.
Well, duh. Obviously we shouldn't make that choice. But the way he argues, he makes it seem like it's always in our control, regardless of how we're feeling. I strongly, firmly disagree. This summer, while I was working as a counselor for EFY, I had a boy my first week who told us towards the end of the week that the year before he was hospitalized for attempted suicide. Knowing him up until that point (and keep in mind that we're around these youth pretty much every hour of the day, so we get to know them fairly well), you would not have suspected that at all. He didn't seem like the kind of person who would ever choose to take his own life. A few weeks ago I had another boy whose friend became so grief-stricken over the death of her friends in a plane crash that she took her own life two days later. I sincerely doubt that she planned to do that well in advance. Even before all of that, I had a good friend who was off his medication for depression, so he tried to use other medicines to compensate. He had nearly killed himself that night due to that other medication's effects, and I ended up taking him to the hospital when I found out so that he could get real help. The mind is a complex thing to deal with, and it may be decades or even centuries before we even come close to fully understanding how it works.
My belief is that, like it says above, only God can judge such a matter. Many people aren't in their right mind when dealing with depression and other mental afflictions. They just aren't. So a choice that they make really can't totally be pinned to their judgment. I believe that our Heavenly Father, who loves us more than we can ever fully comprehend, wouldn't automatically condemn someone who takes their own life when in a situation like that.
Again, the Church is fully conscious of the fact that depression is a real thing. This talk, given back in 1978, shows that even then it was a problem that needed to be handled delicately. And this one, given more recently by one of the apostles, reveals that even they have dealt and deal with it as well:
Full talk given here, with references at the bottom.
So in the event that a loved one of ours passes away, due to death by natural causes, an accident, a suicide, or whatever the situation may be, what should we do? Obviously there is a needed time to mourn about it, but my thoughts are to not completely focus on the loss. Rather, let's focus on what was left behind, and the good times we had. I'm reminded of when I lost a good friend of mine last year from a hiking accident; I wasn't able to attend his funeral in Colorado, but before that had taken place there was a remembrance service where people simply came and talked about the happy/funny memories they had of him. With someone as iconic as Robin Williams, while his personal life might not have been the image of perfection, can we do the same? Can we remember those good times, and the good things he left with us?
