Life goes on

Disclaimer: very long post. Usually I probably won't write this much, but this is a topic that's been on my mind pretty heavily for the last couple weeks.

Today was a significant day for the family of a dear friend of mine. Up in Windsor, Colorado, a funeral was held for Tyler Mayle, who I got lucky enough to know after he moved into the apartment complex I live in. He was a year younger than me, played in the school's marching band, worked for broadcasting, was an excellent musician, a stalwart American, loved the whole lore of Lord of the Rings, and as far as I could tell he didn't meet a single person he couldn't call his friend. His passing was hard for all who knew him, and even some who barely knew him, which is why many decided to come to a remembrance service that was held for him last week and the subsequent funeral today.

The remembrance service was interesting to say the least, as I had never been to anything like it before. I've been to a couple funerals, but it was nothing like any funeral I've heard of. Per request of the family, people came up and simply talked about the good memories they had of Tyler, often being pretty hilarious. I had some of my own, but seeing as none of the memories I had of him were truly unique - like one-on-one with him, I unfortunately knew him for less than a year - I didn't spend a lot of time talking (thinking that others would talk about those stories, which some did). I ended up laughing along with everyone else, including his parents, who said that they were unsure the night before if they would ever laugh again. It was an evening I won't soon forget, and truly hope it stays in my mind.

Something said at the end of the service that made it so significant was that from all the stories, all the memories of him that were shared, the way to not waste those memories would be to take his example in two or three characteristics or qualities and apply them in our own lives. Considering how good of a friend he was to me, it would be hard not to do so.
Recently I've been going through my movie collection and watched the movie version of A Series of Unfortunate Events. (I have a point to this, hold on.) Despite being based on a children's book series and not being a blockbuster hit by any means, there were those few lines of narration and dialogue that saved it and made it memorable for me. One in particular, from the narrator, was this very true comment:

"If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels; and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it."

Tyler's death was not the first one in my life, but it was the first in a long time. Many feelings that I hadn't felt in years resurfaced, and I had no choice but to feel them once I heard the news of his passing.
In the story, the main characters quickly find themselves orphaned and alone in the world, and soon after are met with further pain as the antagonist tries repeatedly to get the inheritance that their parents left. (Here's the point I wanted to get at.) Despite facing even more trials after their parents' death, and despite being just a 14-year-old, a 12-year-old, and an infant, they don't forget the love their parents showed for them. They don't give in to the pressures forced on them by their antagonist. They continually use their talents to pull themselves out of danger and show others what they're made of. The movie ends on a much lighter note than the books do, with a letter from their parents arriving in the mail for them. (It had been explained earlier that it was delayed and originally thought to be lost.) Excerpts from that letter are as follows:

"At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may, in fact, be the first steps of a journey... It fills us with pride to know that no matter what happens in this life, that you three will take care of each other, with kindness and bravery and selflessness, as you always have. And remember one thing, my darlings, and never forget it: that no matter where we are, know that as long as you have each other, you have your family. And you are home."

I may be over-dramatizing things a little bit with this movie reference. Oh well. The thought came to me that these parents, knowing what position their children were in, would be proud of them for not giving up, not forgetting the things they were taught, not neglecting the example they were left.

There is a time to grieve, and mourn, and truly feel the pain for what is lost, it's true. I felt it all of last week, and some pain still lingers. But I knew Tyler fairly well, and I know that he wouldn't expect me to feel that pain forever. He would want me, and all close to him, to keep moving forward with their lives, to continue on their own journeys, and take the lessons that he left us - mostly just by his daily example - to use for ourselves in an effort to enhance and enrich this time that we're left with.

My life goes on. I intend to make the best of it. By no means am I perfect, but that won't stop me from trying to get there some day. Thank you, Tyler Mayle, for your wonderful example.

"My greatest moments of peace have been found in the tops of the mountains."