Wednesday, December 31, 2014

End of 2014: Resolutions review

I'm writing this post from my now-empty bedroom in Provo, about to leave and move the last of my things up to Alpine. It's been a while since my last post, so let me do some catching up.

I had originally planned on making a post every day in November with each post being something I'm thankful for. I started off okay, but stopped for a couple reasons. First, by the time of day that I was getting some of the posts in, it felt like I was doing it more to check off that I did it instead of actually writing meaningful things about each topic. (And, admittedly, I was planning on having these posts count towards one of my new year's resolutions, which I'll get to in a bit.) Second, a lot of friends of mine on Facebook did almost the exactly the same thing. Props to them, I'm glad that they're grateful for things as well, and gratitude is something the world could use more of. However... eh. I don't know, it almost felt like it cheapened my experience with it. My blog posts are things I consider special, meaningful, and unique. But in doing the same thing that everyone else was, I didn't feel like my list was going to be as special.
So while I have a list of things I'm grateful for, with one item for every day of the month, I'm holding off on publishing it until I have time to turn it into a video. That's something I feel like will be more unique, more personal, and just more fun overall. I need more experience making videos anyway.

That brings me to the next big thing that's happened in the last few months. I didn't end up getting into the film program at BYU, and what's disappointing to me is that they give zero feedback on what went wrong, what could have been improved, what my chances were of how many people applied and how many got in, etc. I get why they don't go over all that for every applicant, but still, it's not the best experience in the world to read a rejection letter, especially when you get it via email and regular mail, both saying the exact same scripted thing. And the rest of school hasn't been so great for me either; I won't go into detail about how bad, but I will say that I'm taking a break for a while. I'm moving up to my parents' home in Alpine and will be working to save up some money as a way to kinda get back on my feet and figure out what to do next in life. Not getting into two different programs at one school doesn't exactly make me want to keep attending school, if I'm being honest.


With the end of the year having arrived, the time has arrived to go over the resolutions that I made for 2014. I'll start by saying that it definitely helped by writing them all down in a place I couldn't lose it – I know how many times I wrote down resolutions in the past or paper or something and lost them soon after. So keeping them on here was certainly a plus. Here we go!

1. Exercise a little every day, even if it means taking a walk for 30 minutes on a treadmill. Didn't happen. I thought about it a lot, but I wasn't self-disciplined enough to follow through with it. HOWEVER. I can guarantee that this will pass on as a resolution for next year, and I already know how I'm going to improve on it. (This will be detailed in my next blog post, which will go up tomorrow.)

2. Unless I'm specifically out with friends, stop eating so much late at night. I got better at this one, but it still happened more than I feel like it should. I did start getting into the habit of making food for myself, rather than going out for many of my meals, so there's that.

3. Read at least one new book a month. Definitely got started on this one, didn't go all the way though. I have a list of books that I will read, though, so like #1, this will continue to the new year.

4. Start up a media production of some kind. Still hasn't happened yet. I've made a few videos, but I'm waiting for "just the right time" to get things going. (That last part is in quotes because it's me telling myself that that's the excuse – I just need to start and not stop.) Something that was kind of interesting this last month that was successful was when I posted this. Imgur (pronounced "im'-a-jer") is a site that's basically meant for picture hosting, with a way to upvote or downvote pictures based on whatever the picture is about. Usually the funny or cool things get upvoted, and if you have enough upvotes your submission can make it to the "front page," which is known on the site as being notoriously good. My submission was about a care package (for lack of a better term) that I received from Old Spice for Christmas. (Really cool package, by the way, and I also made a video of me unboxing it.) I think because of the time of day that I submitted it, there was a high amount of traffic on the site, and enough people started upvoting it that it did in fact make it to the front page. If I were to submit it at some time like around midnight tonight, I doubt that many people would see it among all the other submissions (there are multiple images being uploaded every minute) and that it would have been successful in reaching the amount of upvotes it did. So while I haven't gotten to making a YouTube channel like I've wanted to, I have been studying how viralness and reach works. This video from Game Theory actually talks a lot about it as well, and confirmed a lot of what I've suspected for a while as far as how making a successful channel works. Enough on that topic for now, though.

5. Do my best to enter into a relationship that is leading towards marriage. I'm gonna count this one as a success. I feel like I've been a lot more confident about dating and can definitely see where I've been successful and where I haven't been. And while I am still single, I have a lot better feeling about my dating life and how to go about it in the future. (And I have people I'm interested in, with some visible potential in each on, so I have that going for me.)

6. Write at least one blog post per week. Didn't happen, obviously. I mentioned at the beginning of this post that I wanted to count my thankful posts towards my end-of-the-year goal of a post per week. While I might have had 52 by the end of the year (I haven't bothered to do the math for it, probably won't bother doing so), I'd have known that I'd be cheating myself on that total. This will be a resolution to keep for next year.

7. Watch the movies in my library that I haven't seen yet. While I've slowed down how many movies I've been collecting, I still didn't get this one done. And honestly, even though I enjoy having a ton of movies, it feels like there are some that I have just for the sake of having, knowing that I'll probably never watch them again. So that's something I need to tweak for next year.

8. Go to a convention of some sort. Success! Through a connection of my brother's, I was able to work at FantasyCon during the week of 4th of July. I helped with sales of autograph and picture vouchers; basically, you had to buy one of the vouchers from us before you could get whatever it is you wanted from the various celebrities that were there. And they had some awesome people in attendance, too! John Rhys-Davies, Sean Astin, Billy Boyd, Mark Sheppard, Simon Pegg (who I even got a picture with!!), and a whole slew of others. While I worked for the most part of each day, there was some time they gave us each day to roam around and check things out. Definitely a fun experience, and one I'd do again if given the opportunity. Though maybe not for a while, as FantasyCon won't happen again until 2016, and I'd rather go to a convention just for my own purposes now...

9. Be more outgoing. I feel like this goes a lot with #5, as I've definitely improved. Being social in my ward hasn't been too hard, as the last few callings I've had have required me to know just about everyone in the ward. And working as an EFY counselor over the summer really pulled me out of my comfort zone and had me working with teens, teaching them and helping them to be more social, which in turn had the same effect on me. I'd really like to continue that trend.

And finally, 10. Be happy with myself. I'd say I improved on this. I've had some trials this year, and I've had some successes. I want to learn from the trials and celebrate the successes. I want to keep moving forward and improving myself. I want to make sure that everything I do helps me be who I enjoy being, and who I want to become. Because every one is always changing, some faster than others, some for the better, some for worse, some in completely different ways than others. If you feel like you're doing nothing with your life, that's technically a form of change, though not really in any positive direction. I want to be moving in a positive direction, because I know how it feels to not go that way, and frankly I don't really enjoy it. I'm happier than I have been, maybe not by a huge margin, but like I said with the last resolution it's a trend I want to continue.


So there are my resolutions from this year. I think what I'm most satisfied with is that I was able to go over them at all; again, with the lack of maintaining a record of resolutions in the past, I've never really been able to do this. Tomorrow I'll have a list of new resolutions for 2015, more detailed and improved on than this year's. (Maybe. I'm hoping so.)



Also, as a note of coincidence, I mentioned that I saw Saving Mr. Banks on Christmas last year in my original 2014 resolutions post. We actually bought it and watched it as a family on Christmas Eve this year! I doubt that we'll make it a tradition, but I did find it funny that it was the same time of year that we watched it.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Month of Gratitude: Music

With about ten minutes left of day #4, I'm going to write this quickly, post it, and update it tomorrow.

Month of Gratitude #4: Music

I have a number of friends who I'm sure will agree with me that music is essential in their lives. Whether it be for working, working out, to invite the Spirit, personal enjoyment, or even just to get in a certain mood, music is great and can make you feel a number of emotions.

My music library is full of a massive assortment of artists and genres, and I add to it all the time, based on recommendations from friends or just things I hear that I like. And I almost always have a set of headphones on me so I can enjoy some tunes while I'm on the go. It truly is something I'm grateful for, especially because of how diverse it is and how influential it can be for literally billions of people around the world.


Month of Gratitude: Movies

Almost forgot this today! Yes, this is technically being posted on the 4th, but I started this post on the 3rd, so I say it still counts.

Month of Gratitude #3: Movies

As I've stated a few times before on this blog, I am a huge fan of movies, owning a sizable amount in my personal collection. I love being able to delve into another world for a period of time and experience things that I might not be able to on my own. Yes, books, songs, and television shows can do the same thing, but movies are great because they're often able to help one better capture what the original writer had in mind.

I think a perfect example of this is the Harry Potter franchise; I love all of the books, and as soon as the first movie came out I was instantly a fan of Daniel Radcliffe's portrayal of the now world-famous character. We got to experience his transition of the plain world he knew to the magical castle Hogwarts with him. We watched him grow and mature alongside Ron and Hermione, and went through a lot of the same things they did as we followed them throughout the years. We rejoiced in his successful Quidditch matches, we cried with him at Dumbledore's death, and we felt that same relief after the demise of Voldemort. Obviously the transition from the page to screen doesn't always work perfectly, but when it does it is truly a – dare I say it – magical experience. (Yes, I went there.)

I'm going to write more about this tomorrow, so again I can just get this posted and head to bed. But movies are most certainly on my list of things I'm grateful for.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Month of Gratitude: My religion

Month of Gratitude #2: My religion

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the Mormon church. I've been a member of it all my life, with my parents raising all us kids in it. My mom's family has actually been members for generations, dating back to when the pioneers were crossing the country, but my dad was the first member of his family to be baptized and become LDS. He went on a mission to France shortly after he was baptized, and when he got home he decided to attend Brigham Young University (an LDS school) instead of Vanderbilt, and subsequently ended up meeting my mom there. I served a mission in southern Brazil, preaching and teaching others about my faith, and I'm immensely glad that I did, because I saw how much good it did in the lives of others. And now I'm at BYU as well, and I'm incredibly grateful for the clean, high-standard environment that it maintains. I've been to other university campuses (including a few in Illinois, one close to Provo, the University of Utah in Salt Lake City, and over the summer I went to one in Kentucky for a week of work) and by far this is one of the nicest I've ever been to. I feel that a lot of it, if not almost all of it, is because of the standards implemented by the Church.

Because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life, I have a solid foundation of what to believe in. I can make choices that I know will make me happy in life. That happiness is brought about because I'm keeping God's commandments, and from reading the scriptures written by various prophets throughout the ages, we know that that happiness truly is one of the blessings that God gives to us. It's a tried-and-true method that I guarantee works, because I've experienced it for myself: living the Gospel and striving to keep the standards and commandments brings long-term happiness.

Does it seem weird at times, what we do? Does it seem restrictive? Church for three hours every week (longer for some, with meetings before or after the standard block of hours every Sunday). No drinking alcohol, coffee, or tea. No smoking or other drugs. No sex before marriage. No, no, no, no, no. Seems almost weird compared to the standards of the world today. But here's the thing: I don't even want to do most of the stuff we're "told" not to do. Again, we have standards in place not to restrict us but rather to remind us what things will keep us safe from harm, out of trouble, and in good spirits.

Do we believe some crazy things sometimes? Like the fact that our spirits existed before we were born on Earth, and that one day we'll all be resurrected? And that based on our actions in this life we have a chance to live with our Heavenly Father? And that we have living prophets who help us know exactly what it is we need to do in order to get there? That might seem crazy to some, but to me it makes a lot more sense than a God who just decides if people go to heaven or hell, that's it, no questions asked. Or believing in reincarnation, where after I die in this life I'll come back to life as some other animal somewhere in the world. And it makes a lot more sense, and is more comforting to me, than not believing in anything at all.

Seriously, there are times when I just look at the sunset and pay attention to all the vibrant colors, or the sun peeking out through the clouds on a rainy day. And I look up, and just think that there is no way that it was all just random happenstance. Someone had to have made all this. Someone organized it all, created it all perfectly. And whoever did... well, I'd like to live with him. Learn from him. Be like him, and be able to make some of the same things. Now doesn't that sound awesome?

I'm a Mormon, and I'm proud of it. Ask me about it some time, and I'll be more than happy to tell you about it.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Month of Gratitude: My family

With Thanksgiving coming up this month, I thought I'd take the opportunity to write down some things that I'm grateful for in my life. But I really can't narrow everything down to just one post, so every single day I'm going to write a post about the thing I'm thankful for. Hopefully in later years I can continue this trend, because I know there are more than just thirty things I'm grateful for. So I'll just jump right into it, then.

#1: My family

I come from a decent-sized family that's grown a lot in just the past few years. Both of my parents are still alive and well (Rich and Lisa), I've got an older brother (Chris), two older sisters (Lindsay and Katie), and a younger sister (Sarah). Chris is going to get married at the beginning of December to a fine woman named Amanda, and Katie has been married for seven years to her husband Joe. Katie and Joe currently have three kids, Claire, Caleb, and Evalyn, with a fourth arriving pretty shortly. We've also had a number of pets over the years, including a number of fish, a guinea pig, and a few dogs, all of which I like to include as family as well. And I have a number of aunts and uncles from both sides of the family, with so many cousins I can't keep track of them all.

There is a lot that I can say about my family, so it's hard to pick just a few aspects about them that I'm grateful for. But probably one of the biggest qualities that first comes to mind is that they're incredibly supportive. And it's the good kind of support, too; I feel like I've tried to make a lot of good decisions in my life, and any time I asked them for help (or even if I didn't) they would be there cheering me on with those good decisions. If I was ever making a bad choice, they'd show their concern and counsel a lot with me about what I was doing and help me try to get back on the right path. Even if I didn't show it then, those times that they helped me make the right decisions are some of the ones I'm most thankful for, because I can see where I would have ended up in a lot of situations if I went with those bad choices.

My family's often just fun to be around. A few weeks ago we had a reunion of sorts up at my parents' home, with almost everyone from my mom's side of the family coming to visit for a while. Despite not being familiar with everyone there, I felt more like I was at home than many other places I've been in the last few years. Pleasantly comfortable would probably be the best way I could describe it.

I consider my family members my friends in a lot of ways as well. I've spent a good amount of one-on-one time with each of them, whether it be to go see a movie, going out to dinner, taking a road trip, or even just hanging out and talking. I can think of specific times with everyone (at least in my immediate family) where we've spent time together to grow that personal bond.

I love my family, and words can't describe just how grateful I am that they're mine. And I get to be with them forever.


Monday, October 20, 2014

Temples I've been to

I've been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (i.e. I'm a Mormon) for all my life, and if you didn't know that by now... well, where have you been?

Seriously, though, I love being a Mormon, and one of the aspects of the LDS faith is that we have these things called temples. Without going into too much detail for now, as I plan to do so next month, temples are a place we consider to be holy – we call each one "The House of the Lord." Every single one I've been to, every time I've been, I've found that I immediately feel peace. I feel calm. I feel at home.

Below are pictures (some of which I took myself, noted by a * if you're curious) of all of the temples I've visited. It's near impossible for me to choose a favorite one, because they're all simply beautiful and special to me in their own way.
Provo, Utah*

Mt. Timpanogos, Utah*
Seattle, Washington
São Paulo, Brazil
San Diego, California
Salt Lake City, Utah
St. Louis, Missouri
Oakland, California
Campinas, Brazil
Porto Alegre, Brazil*
Manti, Utah
Nauvoo, Illinois
This post will be edited in the future as I visit more temples – currently, there are 143 temples in use around the world, with 27 currently being built or previously announced.

I mentioned above that I'll go into detail next month about what temples are, because November (being the month of Thanksgiving) will be my "grateful posts" month. Every day I'm going to talk about something I'm grateful for, and temples are definitely on that list.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Plight of the Provo Bachelor: Flirting "fun"

I've debated posting this one for a while, worrying how, like other posts in this series, it might get some mixed reactions. But reminding myself that this is my blog, my thoughts, my opinions on whatever topic – I shouldn't let other people's opinions stop me from expressing what's on my mind.


When I fall for someone, I tend to fall pretty hard. Just being honest. I'm not entirely sure why, but I think a big part of it might have to do with the idea of how much happier life would be with an eternal companion at my side. (Note that I'm saying happier. Not necessarily easier. But definitely happier.) So that idea of a happier life is implanted in my head and when I get the slightest inclination that there's a possibility with someone, part of me latches on. Despite that possibility just being a total figment of my imagination, and that particular someone is just showing their kindness/personality/whatever.

I guess part of what I'm saying is that I could very possibly misinterpret when a girl is flirting and when she isn't, and that's because there are times when my mind gets so fixated on that idea of happiness with an eternal companion, so it just accepts it all as "yes, she likes you and is interested in you." For clarification, here's some of what I normally interpret as flirting:
- unnecessary, but friendly physical contact
- spending time around you and making it obvious that they're there for you
- paying extra attention to you
- inviting you to do things with them, especially one-on-one
- initiating conversations frequently
- going out of their way to make you feel special/wanted/loved, either by word or gift
- remembering your special events/days

Those are the only ones that come to mind for now. Obviously those aren't all the ways to flirt (I'm fairly certain that women have their own languages that they use and communicate with, one of which is only through eye contact), and usually it's a combination of some or all of these that would really make it obvious that you're showing interest in someone. And it's not that I consider myself a master of the art, but I've definitely been attempting to "woo" various women that I've been interested in for some time… and, frankly, I have little to show for it.

A favorite movie of mine and among my friends, Hitch, explains something rather well. Particularly at the 1:45 mark. (Minor language warning a couple minutes after that.)

You can't just straight up tell someone that you like them. You can't. I don't know why you can't – I mean, honesty is supposed to be the best policy, right? – but any time I've tried doing so, it's blown up in my face. Here's how it usually goes, presented in GIF form:
Basically it starts like this...
...goes like this (with me as the guy holding the hoop)...
...and ends like this.
Just telling someone that you like them (from the Hitch clip above: "I like you." That's it!) doesn't seem to be a thing that happens at all anymore. If someone does do it, the action often comes across as brutish, unthoughtful, annoying, too forward, and/or tactless. Creativity is expected for almost everything – at least, that's the implication that's been built up in society. Seriously, I can already imagine how the situation would go: if I were to say to someone who I currently fancy that I like them, while one part of my mind wants it to play out beautifully, the "realist" side of my mind envisions it crashing and burning, with little chance of that girl talking to me ever again. Now, as to whether or not the "realist" side of me envisions that because it's actually right, or because that's what's been drilled into our heads over the last decade or so, I'm not sure what to believe. But the fact that it's hard to stay optimistic for something that, in theory, is so simple – that fact frustrates me to no end.

This was a sketch done by BYU's Divine Comedy a couple years ago, and while it's one of the ones that's received some of the biggest laughs I've ever seen it's almost painful as to how true it seems.
Most of it is Mallory trying to explain the signals girls give (and who knows if they're all accurate; again, I'm sure every girl has her own methods of communication), and towards the end she asks Adam for his explanation of men:
A: "So if I kiss you, I like you."
M: "That's it?"
A: "That's it. Men are simple: we like meat, kissing, and explosions."
Obviously men are a little more complicated than that, but it does narrow it down fairly well. And yes, I understand that men and women are different on many levels, and we're supposed to be different for many good reasons, but again the frustration comes in when we try to get up to their level and we're shot down for not doing things the "right way." Most of us have only ever known the one way, so give us some credit for trying things the way they appeal to you!
And if you're not interested, just be honest and upfront about it. Tell us, straight up, that you'd rather not pursue a relationship. You don't need to give a reason for it if you don't want to, because that's your personal reason. If you're worried about hurting or offending us, well... Yeah, it's probably gonna hurt, but it'll hurt a lot less than if things were to drag on for weeks or months without knowing how you actually feel about us. We can learn to bounce back and move on. For some it may take a while longer than others, but at the end of the day it's something we eventually just deal with.



New movies: hit up DI looking for possibilities to work on a new Halloween costume. Didn't find anything. Went to the movies section as a fallback. Was not disappointed.
Monster's Inc. [FINALLY another Disney movie for my collection, and a Pixar one to boot!]
Avatar [Special 3-disc edition, all discs still there and in good condition]
Muppet Treasure Island/The Great Muppet Caper [Blu-Ray and DVD combo pack, still in original packaging]
Pokémon: The First Movie – Mewtwo Strikes Back [Also still in original packaging]

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Robin Williams' death and how it affects me

I'm not sure how to start this post off. This subject is a little touchier than most that I write about.
If you've been on the internet in the last twenty-four hours, there's a very high chance that you've heard about the passing of Robin Williams, an actor known to many around the world. While his death is certainly tragic, for sure, it's also been revealed that he most likely committed suicide, caused by asphyxiation. That seems to be the thing hitting hardest to most people. How could a man, whose most famous contributions to society were for comedy, be considering something so dark and poorly understood? How could a man whose job it was to make people smile be dealing with depression?
Click if you need it to be bigger to read the text.
There are tons of things that we don't fully understand yet as humans. And one of the biggest ones is probably why we ever get depressed. Some say it's brought on by chemical imbalances. Some say that it's due to negative past experiences. I've even heard – not as recently, but I've heard – that it's just the person's attitude and they need to just pick themselves up. Whatever the case may be, we need to reach out to those who are ever feeling depressed and do our absolute best to make sure they know that they are loved and appreciated, and that we want to help.

There is a right and a wrong way to deal with death, especially those brought about by suicide. This, obviously, is not the right way of doing so:
Seriously, what good is it going to do you to watch the home of a family who just lost someone they loved?!
There is another thing that's happened, though, that's actually discussed very well in this article by the Washington Post. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, a.k.a. the people behind the Oscars, tweeted this out:
While the image is touching, it should not be interpreted as a way out of depression. NEVER should it be interpreted that way. And I'm sure the Academy didn't intend for it to come across that way; it seems to be more of a tribute than anything else. But please, please, please understand that suicide should never be seen as an escape from any problems that you deal with in this life. It shouldn't be considered an option, ever. And if you know of someone who is dealing with anything like this at all, reach out to them immediately. Let them know that there is help for them.
So how do we deal with those people who end up doing so anyway? Taking their own life, bringing us grief and pain because of their passing? What are we to expect is Mr. Williams' fate? Is he going to be cast down to hell for taking his own life away? Certainly we aren't meant to take life into our own hands; that's God's job, not ours.
If I have any non-Mormon friends who end up reading this blog post, I'm going to get a little religious here. Bear with me. We believe that we have apostles here on the earth who receive constant revelation from God and help us understand more about life and our purpose here on Earth. We have multiple websites to go to, where you can literally type in anything you want to know about, and there's a high chance that that topic has been discussed at some point. I did so on one of our main websites, lds.org, and typed in "suicide" just in the search bar at the top of the page. The first result gave me this:

Although it is wrong to take one's own life, a person who commits suicide may not be responsible for his or her acts. Only God can judge such a matter. Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said:
“Obviously, we do not know the full circumstances surrounding every suicide. Only the Lord knows all the details, and he it is who will judge our actions here on earth.
”When he does judge us, I feel he will take all things into consideration: our genetic and chemical makeup, our mental state, our intellectual capacity, the teachings we have received, the traditions of our fathers, our health, and so forth“ (”Suicide: Some Things We Know, and Some We Do Not,“ Ensign, Oct. 1987, 8).
There's also a link to the talk that Elder Ballard is quoted from, as well as a number to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline and its website, a link to a video made by the Church, and a link to LDS Family Services, which helps with issues like this and many others on a daily basis.

Matt Walsh, who is an infamous blogger on the web, posted today about Robin Williams' suicide. The title of the post is "Robin Williams didn't die from a disease, he died from his choice." Matt has posted about numerous topics before, most of which are the highly controversial ones of the day, and this one is no less controversial. He does say that it's something he doesn't fully understand and has been trying to for all his life (not sure if this means that he's dealt with depression all of his life or that he's just been struggling to understand it all that time), but the point he ultimately makes is that suicide is a choice that we make for ourselves, and we need to not make that choice.
Well, duh. Obviously we shouldn't make that choice. But the way he argues, he makes it seem like it's always in our control, regardless of how we're feeling. I strongly, firmly disagree. This summer, while I was working as a counselor for EFY, I had a boy my first week who told us towards the end of the week that the year before he was hospitalized for attempted suicide. Knowing him up until that point (and keep in mind that we're around these youth pretty much every hour of the day, so we get to know them fairly well), you would not have suspected that at all. He didn't seem like the kind of person who would ever choose to take his own life. A few weeks ago I had another boy whose friend became so grief-stricken over the death of her friends in a plane crash that she took her own life two days later. I sincerely doubt that she planned to do that well in advance. Even before all of that, I had a good friend who was off his medication for depression, so he tried to use other medicines to compensate. He had nearly killed himself that night due to that other medication's effects, and I ended up taking him to the hospital when I found out so that he could get real help. The mind is a complex thing to deal with, and it may be decades or even centuries before we even come close to fully understanding how it works.
My belief is that, like it says above, only God can judge such a matter. Many people aren't in their right mind when dealing with depression and other mental afflictions. They just aren't. So a choice that they make really can't totally be pinned to their judgment. I believe that our Heavenly Father, who loves us more than we can ever fully comprehend, wouldn't automatically condemn someone who takes their own life when in a situation like that.

Again, the Church is fully conscious of the fact that depression is a real thing. This talk, given back in 1978, shows that even then it was a problem that needed to be handled delicately. And this one, given more recently by one of the apostles, reveals that even they have dealt and deal with it as well:
Full talk given here, with references at the bottom.

So in the event that a loved one of ours passes away, due to death by natural causes, an accident, a suicide, or whatever the situation may be, what should we do? Obviously there is a needed time to mourn about it, but my thoughts are to not completely focus on the loss. Rather, let's focus on what was left behind, and the good times we had. I'm reminded of when I lost a good friend of mine last year from a hiking accident; I wasn't able to attend his funeral in Colorado, but before that had taken place there was a remembrance service where people simply came and talked about the happy/funny memories they had of him. With someone as iconic as Robin Williams, while his personal life might not have been the image of perfection, can we do the same? Can we remember those good times, and the good things he left with us?

From his daughter, Zelda, tweeted last night:
She's going to try to keep looking up. I feel like we should do the same.



Image credits go to imgur.com

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Resolutionary: Halfway through

Being this the first day of the seventh month of the year two thousand and fourteen, and as such being a halfway point between the beginning and end of said year, I find it appropriate to give another update on my New Year's Resolutions. I'll just make this a quick post, as I'm just giving updates on them all. I'll say up front that EFY is helping out a ton with many of these.

1. Exercise a little every day, even if it means taking a walk for 30 minutes on a treadmill. I used a pedometer for the first few weeks I was doing EFY and found that I was averaging about 15,000 steps per day. 2,000 is about a mile, and I've heard that a good goal for someone trying to lose weight is to hit at least 10,000, so I feel like I'm doing fairly well with that.

2. Unless I'm specifically out with friends, stop eating so much late at night. Doing well so far! The only real exception to this is pizza night for EFY, but I'm taking care to not splurge... for the most part.

3. Read at least one new book a month. Ehhhhh... could be doing better. I still have the original books I checked out from the library back in January that I need to get through... That time between when EFY finishes and when school starts up is going to be super valuable.

4. Start up a media production of some kind. Working on it. My brother and I have created a company based mostly off of his DJ equipment/experience, but we have plans to expand to much more than just audio production.

5. Do my best to enter into a relationship that is leading towards marriage. Working on it. I'm meeting new people all the time, and while EFY is taking up a lot of time that I would use for social activities I'm definitely keeping my eyes open.
I mean, sometimes I feel like this is how I come off to girls when I'm trying to flirt:
And I'm really hoping that it's not actually that. But I'll save that topic for a future post.

6. Write at least one blog post per week. Working on this still. (Obviously.) Got some ideas of future posts already, so I'll do my best to make some time to get them written.

7. Watch the movies in my library that I haven't seen yet. Again, EFY is kinda in the way of free time, but since I've stopped buying movies for a while I'm slowly catching up.

8. Go to a convention of some sort. Going to be taken care of this week! I just mentioned in resolution #6 that I have plans for future blog posts, and one of them is going to be about FantasyCon, which will be this Thursday through Saturday. Kind of a funny story as to how I'm going, but I'll save that for the post itself.

9. Be more outgoing. EFY is helping in more ways than I can imagine. More so with this than my mission, I feel. I'm thrown every week into a situation where I need to get to know anywhere from 6 to 12 boys who are under my care for the week, then in addition to that I get to know just as many girls (or more, if we were to use last week as an example). I get to know multiple other counselors, and all of us have the responsibility to teach and guide these youth toward gaining a testimony of the Gospel. I don't know how I could do this without being outgoing.
Even if this is all I'm doing to be more outgoing, it's more than what I usually do, and I'm happy about that.

10. Be happy with myself. This is going along with the previous resolution, as well as #1. I can already tell I'm losing some weight, if only a little bit at a time, but I'm already feeling better health-wise. And the fact that I'm helping out dozens of others get closer to Christ... now THAT feeling has no comparison. This is seriously the closest I've felt to being a missionary, and it's similar in many ways. I think the only difference is that my "investigators" are already members of the Church, for the most part, and we're working to solidify the testimonies they already have.


 So that's where I'm at so far with my resolutions. I've now got six months to go, and I feel pretty confident with how most of them are going to be able to finish them all by December 31.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Quizzes!

So on Facebook, people are prone to post results from various tests and quizzes about a myriad of topics. "What Hogwarts house do you belong in?" "What is your spirit animal?" "Which character from Friends are you?" "How many children should you have?"

This video, I feel, accurately describes how many of us feel about such posts:
Glove and Boots has to be one of my favorite channels on YouTube, and many times they're spot on with their social commentary. (And pretty dang funny with their jokes and timing.) However, there's one point I'd like to make that they kinda touch on in the video, if indirectly: some of them are actually fun to take, if only for the personal amusement factor. They're a lot like those paper fortune tellers that you used to make as a kid.
Bigger, and definitely nicer, than many of the ones I ever made as a kid, but it gets the point across.
We all know they're not real. I know that, you know that, our parents know it… Probably the only people who don't know it are the 4- and 5-year-old kids seeing these fortune tellers (a.k.a. "cootie catchers") for their first time ever. In any case, it's still a fun thing to do every once in a while. So, as to not fill up my feed with even more of the quizzes that we really don't need to see (again, reference the video I put above) I'll just put results of any quizzes I take here. And I'll update it from time to time, if anyone is ever curious about what kind of breakfast cereal I am, or how long I'll live, or when I'll get married, or what superpower I should have. You know, the important things.

Also, I'll try to keep it to quizzes that actually make sense. In the video above, Fafa the Groundhog takes a quiz about what animal he should be, and none of the questions he's asked have anything to do with animals.

Which Pokémon Gym Leader Are You?
This was the first one I noticed, mostly for having a love of the Pokémon franchise. I got Misty, and here's the description:

You are fiercely competitive and energetic. You tend to tackle problems head-on and are always striving to be better. You may have romantic aspirations, but you would never let them get in the way of your training!

All righty then. I don't know if this quiz is limited to just the first generation of games, though… and if you have absolutely no idea what I meant with that last statement, then ask me later.


What Song Should You Actually Sing At Karaoke?
Hopefully this doesn't start a trend… the questions for this one didn't ask anything about what kind of music I like, or anything about music, really. One of my questions was literally "What is your spirit animal?" which I was kind of joking about before, and another one asked me to choose one out of nine movies. I picked Space Jam. My song result is Dolly Parton's "9 to 5."

It’s been a long day at work, but now you are on your own time. Celebrate the working man and woman and bring out that Tennessee Twang, because you’re about to sing “9 to 5.”
I kinda sorta hate country. And Dolly Parton in particular. So I sincerely doubt that this is right. Moving on.


Do You Win At Eating?
First of all, I don't even know if that's a grammatically correct question. I know that it's common in today's vernacular, but… "Do you win at eating?" I doubt I'd ever ask someone that in that way. Anyway, I checked off 8 out of 50 "accomplishments" for eating, and here's what it says:

You’re a champion eater! You’ve got mad eating skillz. And everyone is pretttttty impressed.

…*sigh*
First off, I'd just like to point out that the questions for this one are rather subjective. Example: one of the things to check off was "I have eaten an entire can of Pringles." I have, but not all at the same time – I seriously doubt I could ever do that. Over the course of a week, though, yeah. I have. Others were more specific, such as "I have eaten more than 3 bowls of cereal in one sitting." (Didn't check that one off, by the way.) I just assumed that all the the ambiguous questions meant in one sitting, so I left them blank if I hadn't done that.
Second, how does 8 out of 50 merit "mad eating skills"?! That's a ridiculously low score on ANYONE'S scale! Since this one is easier to see the answers for, since you just check off a certain amount, I found out that just 1 gives you "reasonable eater" and all 50 gives you "Ultimate Eating Champion." Just 6 already puts you at the level that I actually got.


What Kind Of Thinker Are You?
I am, apparently, a "Creature of Habit."

You’re a sucker for a schedule. When you stick to it, there’s no stopping you, creatively.

This one was actually sponsored by GE, so the questions actually had a lot to do with the topic at hand.


How Sarcastic Are You?
"Completely and utterly sarcastic."

Well done. This is more or less the best thing that has ever happened to you. You are going to get this result tattooed on your forearm, because it is that important.

I didn't think that I answered many of the questions that sarcastically… Although when it gave me six TV show characters to choose from, I went with Dr. House, who is probably one of the most sarcastic characters I can think of.


Which '90s Game Show Are You?
This one I enjoyed, mostly because of the nostalgia factor. My result was Nickelodeon Guts, which I really feel is a show that they could bring back and it would be a total hit. (That and Nick Arcade, but that one would take a little more work in finding appropriate games…)

You represent your city, your nation, yourself in the greatest individual competition known ever to kidkind. You know the Olympic Games would be greatly improved if they were more like this classic competition. Can you climb to the top of the Aggro Crag to claim a piece of it for your own?

Come to think of it, Nickelodeon had a few game shows back in the day that were all REALLY good. Legends of the Hidden Temple, the ones already mentioned, Double Dare (with the spinoffs of Family Double Dare and Double Dare 2000)… good times.


What Disney Movie Hero/Heroine Are You Actually?
Don't know if this one was as fair as some of the others. First question asked me to pick a color, second question asked me to choose a TV – none of which I've watched, and none of which were Disney channel shows. My result was Aladdin, which I'm actually pretty happy with, but again I don't think the question given were actually appropriate for this one.

“Riffraff, street rat. I don’t buy that.” You are the definition of a diamond in the rough. True royalty at heart! I feel sorry for the poor sap who underestimates you. Anyone who risks imprisonment for a small amount of food is a-OK in my book.

Also, one of the questions asked what my chosen method of transportation would be. Out of the choices given, I chose driving (against swimming, walking, swinging, flying, and majestic horseback riding). If that's not enough of a clue that sometimes these quizzes are just a bit far-fetched, then I don't know what is.


Which Soda Are You?
Again, great result this time around (Dr Pepper) but I have no idea why some of the questions for this were in there. "Pick a 90's trend" and "Pick a celeb" (with one of the options for that one being Santa) don't seem to correlate with sodas in my mind.

Actually, picking Santa might have given me Coke, come to think of it.

You’re an enigma, possessing of that ever-elusive “je ne sais quoi.” No one can quite figure you out, which either means someone thinks you’re weird, or you’re incredibly sexy. Either way, you’re fine with it all.

Great description for Dr Pepper. I feel like it's pretty accurate for both the drink and myself.


What Your Favorite Color Says About Pfffffftttt Nothing Matters
This one I went into kinda expecting this result. I chose blue out of the twelve options, and here's what I got:

Your favorite color is completely meaningless.

Allllllllll righty then.


Which "The Princess Bride" Character Are You?
One of my favorite movies (I think for a lot of people in Mormon culture, it's one of their favorite movies) and they actually had all the questions relate to characters! I ended up getting the Grandfather, who admittedly is only part of the movie and not the book. But he does contribute a fair amount to the movie.

The most important thing to you is family. You’re caring and show your love through action. You adore stories and tell them to anyone who will listen. Even if it’s a kissing story.

You know, I feel like I actually relate a lot to young Fred Savage's character as well. When I was young, I used to absolutely hate watching any kissing scenes in movies. Even in cartoons! But now that I'm older and accept the fact that… yeah, kissing is actually a pretty normal thing, I can watch most kissing scenes just fine. (Except maybe for those couples who wait until the day of their wedding to kiss for the first time… that's jut weird. And I'm not gonna link to any of those, you can find them for yourself.)


Would You Pass Your Harry Potter Charms OWL?
I'm not gonna go ahead and call myself a "Potterhead," but I've read the books a few times each, seen all the movies, and felt pretty confident going into this. Ended up getting 9 out of 10 right, and according to the Hogwarts grading scale I get an O for "Outstanding."

Hermione, is that you? Congratulations! You’re definitely the brightest witch/wizard of your age!

The only one that I missed (because this one actually shows you what you got right and wrong) was "Rictusempra." I said that it would give the target a flesh wound, but I confused that with "Sectumsempra," which was introduced in the sixth book/movie. The actual effect strikes the foe with a feeling of incessant tickling. Besides that, though, I got them all right!


What Should Your Name Actually Be?
There wasn't an option to say if you were a guy or girl for this, and I'm not gonna try to go through this one again to get a guy's name for it. My result? "Kiki." The description?

Your name should have been Kiki.

Right, because that totally makes sense.


WHEN Will You Die?
Apparently I'm going to die on July 1, 2024. Exactly 10 years from now.
You have 10 years left. Now is the time to plan out how to really enjoy the time you got! Travel around the world, explore new people, accomplish your dreams and most important of all - BE HAPPY. 10 years is plenty of time.
Umm... no it's not. It really isn't.


Which Transformers Character Are You?www.playbuzz.comFind out which Transformers character you're most like.
Ironhide. A brief summary from the Wikipedia page I linked to just now (because the quiz gives no description) is that he's Optimus Prime's oldest friend and the weapons specialist of the team, having sustained many injuries during his time as a soldier. I could live with that.
Admittedly, I actually don't know all that much about each Transformer outside of the recent movies... I think I was just a couple years too late to really know/enjoy the show all that much.


How Would You Die In An Action Movie?
"You tragically die in your lover's arms." The picture associated with this result is from X-Men 3: The Last Stand, after Wolverine kills Jean amidst all the destruction she's causing.
You're a lover (and maybe a fighter, too). Your caring nature and irresistible good looks caught the attention of one of the hottest characters in the movie, and their piercing eyes and rippling muscles will be the last thing you see before you go. Don't worry, your untimely death will be avenged by a combination of a sudden adrenaline rush and maybe a machine gun.
I feel like the description is geared more toward a woman... oh well. At least I'll be avenged.


Which Gaming Icon Are You?
I'm already calling BS on this one because the first question asked "If you could have any superpower, what would it be?" and did not list flying as one of the options. That is my go-to superpower, and I'm rather disappointed it wasn't there, especially because it asked any superpower.
It ended up giving me Sonic the Hedgehog.
Impatient & Quick-Witted, you are Sega's iconic mascot - Sonic The Hedgehog! Sonic is the title character and protagonist of the Sonic the Hedgehog series released by Sega, as well as numerous spin-off comics, four animated shows, and an animated OVA. He is a 15-year-old blue anthropomorphic hedgehog who has the ability to run at supersonic speeds and the ability to curl into a ball, primarily to attack enemies.
While I'm a little worried as to how the Sonic franchise is going to be dealt with for the new series "Sonic Boom," there are a few games that I've played that I really did enjoy, so this result isn't too bad.


Which Norse God Are You?
This one is about Norse gods... and the third to last question asked me to choose a Greek deity. Then it asked me to choose my favorite of the X-Men Okay.
Wise and Timeless, you are the Norse God Odin! Odin is the Allfather of the gods, and the ruler of Asgard. He is flanked by ravens, of which he uses to oversee his lands. His role, like that of many of the Norse gods, is complex. Odin is a principal member of the Æsir (the major group of the Norse pantheon) and is associated with war, battle, victory and death, but also wisdom, Shamanism, magic, poetry, prophecy, and the hunt. Odin has many sons, the most famous of whom is the thunder god Thor.
Odin's a pretty decent result, though, so I can live with that.



Sunday, June 8, 2014

EFwhat?

A couple weeks ago was one of the most tiring I've had in a long time. And I don't regret it for an instant.

Earlier this year, I had an interview for a job to be a counselor for this summer program put on by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints called Especially For Youth (heretofore referred to as EFY). It was something that I went to for multiple years as a participant and loved every time that I did. Now, having grown a bit in years, I have the opportunity to give the youth who attend the same experiences that I had. Seriously, I absolutely loved it, and from what I was able to see from even just following people around that week, I know that it's going to go incredibly well throughout the rest of the summer.
Here's a basic rundown of how each day goes every week:

MONDAY
- Kids check in around the middle of the day, coming from all over the place. Participants in Provo often come from out of state, just because here is where some of the biggest sessions happen. All participants receive a journal to take notes in throughout the week and a t-shirt specific to that year's theme. This year the theme is "Anxiously Engaged", taken from Doctrine & Covenants 58:27.
- Participants meet their counselors, boys with guy counselors and girls with girl counselors, and then they all come together in groups of 20-30 (trying to keep an even ratio of guys to girls) and form "companies." These companies are all assigned a scripture to focus on throughout the week and choose a name for themselves to be called by everyone else. As an example, the scripture that our company was assigned was Doctrine & Covenants 10:5, so we named ourselves the Conquerers.
- Everyone heads to a meeting with the Session Director, someone who is already married and has a fairly decent amount of wisdom to share with the youth. Some popular directors have been Brad Wilcox, John Bytheway, and others.
- The companies separate and have their own Family Home Evening, with a lesson and games.

TUESDAY
- All participants go to a devotional with the session director, then have a class about how to recognize the Holy Ghost in their lives. Then there's a chance for them to choose some classes to go to, often with some popular Mormon motivational speakers or professors.
- In the evening, everyone meets up and gets ready for a dance. Proper dance etiquette is taught to the guys and girls, so that all are able to have a fun, clean time. The dance goes for a couple hours and depending on where it is and what week of the summer it is, it could have as many as a thousand people there at once. (Sometimes, especially in Provo, there are multiple sessions happening, so for the sake of the dance they combine the sessions together at that time.)
Unfortunately, but understandably, they discourage breakdancing.
WEDNESDAY
- More classes than Tuesday, with some more options of teachers and topics.
- A panel discussion with some of the teachers and the session director is held. Early on in the week the youth have a chance to submit questions about the Gospel that they'd like answered, and while many of the questions are answered the biggest point they try to emphasize is how to find the answers to questions on their own.
- Companies meet up together again to create a company cheer and design a banner relating to the company name they came up with, all in preparation for Games Night.
- Games Night is an opportunity for all the companies in the session to have friendly competition with each other, playing large group games and showing off their cheer for the judges (the session director, his wife, and the head counselors).
- For sessions where the participants stay overnight, the opportunity comes up to have a Pizza Night, where all in the company contribute a bit to buy pizza for themselves and just socialize/bond some more.

THURSDAY
Probably the most important day of the week.
- The young men and young women each have their own devotionals and group activities. I know for the young men, it's often related to how mission life is like. Many of the teachings that they've been learning throughout the week are reinforced at this time, helping the youth to understand that the Gospel is influential in every aspect of their lives.
- A game show is held to help break up the tone of the day, with all the participants of the session together. The one that we did this last week was in the style of Jeopardy!, with five categories and team members chosen from each side of the room (only two teams for simplicity's sake). Some of the categories are Church trivia questions, others are physical "feats" (one that I saw was to attach pedometer to one's head and get the number as high as possible within a minute), others are just completely random.
- A musical program, which youth are encouraged to participate in if they feel comfortable singing, is held later in the day to bring the Spirit back. The themes shared are related back to the theme of EFY for that year.
- A fireside is given by the session director, and then all the companies are taken to separate rooms so they can hold their own testimony meetings. It's quite common for everyone to get up and share their testimonies at this time, but no one is forced to, and if there is a break in people getting up then they just let the silence be an opportunity for the Spirit to sink in. This is one of the things I remember most about going to EFY every summer. It's hard to go to one of these testimony meetings and not feel the Spirit. There's also a section in every journal to write down your own testimony, should you choose.

FRIDAY
- Last full day for participants. There's a short devotional in the morning with the counselors to help the youth understand how to best benefit from the week – not just by remembering what they learned, but applying the teachings in their regular lives and sharing with their friends and family.
- An activity based on the LDS missionary manual Preach My Gospel is used to help participants become more familiar with its teachings. In particular, this year they're focusing on how the Book of Mormon helps to answer questions of the soul (about halfway down the page for this link).
- A variety show, which any participant can audition for, is held for about an hour and a half. And by variety show, it can really include anything; the one I got to watch this first week included a few singing acts, a duet on pianos, stand-up comedy, dancing, impressions and movie quotes, juggling… And that was just at one of the shows going on! At Provo there are often multiple sessions happening at once, so there was another variety show happening at the same time as the one I saw.
- A time is given to take pictures with your company and exchange contact information. It's much easier to do so now than when I was a participant; Facebook wasn't a thing, yet, but these days people can add each other and tag photos in seconds. Which is often quite helpful to maintain the friendships past the one week they all get to know each other.
- A final dance is held, followed by a slideshow of pictures taken throughout the whole session. Participants and counselors can contribute to this slideshow, though most of the pictures are taken by counselors whose job it is mostly to focus on that.
- A reminder of how to "take it home" is given with the company. Some companies have their own second testimony meeting, which is helpful if not everyone had the chance earlier that week to share.

SATURDAY
- Participants check out fairly early, which is why time is given on Friday for the contact exchange.

It's important to note that every day there are meals provided for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and times in the morning to have personal Gospel study, some free time every afternoon, and times every night to review things they learned or felt during the day. Lights out every night for participants is 10:30 PM, which is heavily emphasized so that they can actually sleep and enjoy the activities throughout the week. There are also "stay-at-home" sessions, where the participants come only during the day and go back home every night. Most everything still happens, but it's condensed a bit due to the lesser amount of time they have, and they're completely done by Friday night.


So are the things you learn at EFY really that important? All that life-changing?
My company, the last year that I went as a participant.
And these are the journals I had from each year that I was a participant, starting in 2004, and I don't plan on getting rid of them any time soon. So you tell me if they're all that important or life-changing.



Small update: this is the group of kids I have for my first week as an official counselor. I couldn't ask for a better start to this summer.