July journal update

Still want to get this week's post in before the night was over, so it'll be a quick update on life, followed by some thoughts I've had lately on social media.

For the last couple weeks, we've been lucky to have my sister Katie and her family in town visiting from Hawaii. Her husband is in the Navy, so having enough time off to make a trip out here worthwhile is somewhat rare. But he was able to stay for a full week, and the rest of them will be with us for a few more. We had some family pictures taken that should be finished soon, so I'll post some once I have access to them.

Yesterday, being Independence Day here in the States, we all went up to my brother's house in Salt Lake and had a great little barbecue, followed by some fireworks. I've always enjoyed fireworks shows, and by far the best one I've been to is the Stadium of Fire in Provo. They hold it at the BYU football stadium, and they often have a famous musical performer/group performing shortly before they set it all off. This year they had Journey, and in years past they've had acts like Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, and the Beach Boys (who were there the year I saw it). While there have been people claiming that there are bigger shows, and I'm sure there are, the fact that it was a concert as well made it a pretty great experience. And they sounded great, even for it being their 50th anniversary tour!

I haven't been able to use my Fitbit for the last few weeks because I lost the charger for it in the deep recesses of my room. (It's actually pretty clean, I just have no idea where it could be...) But another plus of my sister visiting is that she's got a charger for hers that works for mine as well. The model I use was actually recalled a while back because a few people got rashes, but since I never had a problem with it I never bothered to replace it. I've got a new charger on its way from Amazon already, but in the meantime I can get back on track by using the one she brought. I made it down to about 232 pounds, and I'd love to get below 200 before the end of the year.

K, so maybe this will be longer than I planned on it being. Oh well, I'm on a roll.

I've just been thinking a bit about what kinds of social media I've been using. My main ones, in the order of frequency used, are Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and to a much lesser extent Blogger. YouTube is technically a form of social media as well, though much different than any of the ones I've mentioned. And I used to have Snapchat, but I got rid of the app a while ago because 1) it took forever to do anything with it on my phone (although it's a four-year-old phone, and it's been a while since I updated the iOS on it) and 2) I just never really enjoyed communicating through it. It's a novel idea, certainly, but often times if I was ever sent videos they'd go too fast to really get a good feel of what they were. And picture messages a lot of times were without much context, which I guess is fine for people who are used to messaging that way, but I just never really got into it too much.

After the Supreme Court decision a little over a week ago (and I'm not going to get political on this post, don't worry), it was incredibly interesting to see how much people showed their feelings over it. And I say interesting in an honest sense, not just as a passive adjective to move this paragraph along. While I don't ever plan on studying psychology as a career or anything, some concepts of psychology have held my curiosity every so often. And I can't say that it's "research" by any means, but what is so interesting to me is to see how vocal some people get behind the shield of the internet. A lot more people feel open to share what they feel, what they think, what they believe, because they're not afraid of being harassed "publicly" about it. At least, most people I know feel free to openly express themselves – many celebrities still need to be careful of any backlash, much like Jim Carrey on Twitter recently stating his opinion on vaccinations. (For the record, he is pro-vaccination, but "anti-neurotoxin", as he stated in a few later tweets.)

I don't post as much on my Facebook as much as I used to some years ago. And on Twitter, I mostly just have it to follow other accounts, big names, some organizations, etc. Occasionally I'll retweet a funny comment or share a post, and every so often I'll post my own status, tweet something, put up a picture on Instagram and have it post to my other accounts, but that's about it. I like writing here because it's hard to get misinterpreted about what I mean for whatever I say. I can be as lengthy or brief as I want, and since I share these posts on Facebook where there's the highest chance for people to see it, anyone who really wants to know what's going on, how I'm feeling, "what's on my mind?" as Facebook is currently asking in its status box – anyone can come see any of that whenever they'd like. And on top of all that, I feel like writing is becoming a lost art form; sure, we're still taught how to write and type and communicate properly, but with texting and tweeting and messaging all being the dominant ways we communicate, doing stuff like this just isn't really seen all that much anymore. Vlogging has been popular, though I think a lot of people got into it to try to make money off of YouTube. That's all well and good, though I hope they realize how much work it takes to actually make a successful living off of online videos. And that you need a somewhat exciting or enticing personality to pull it off – you can't just sit yourself in front of a camera, talk into it for five to ten minutes in a monotone voice, put it online, and expect people to love it immediately. Building up a fan base takes time, skill, and dedication for it. Internet fame can happen overnight, but lasting internet fame requires work.

Maybe that's why people feel the need to be so brazen on social media every so often. Maybe they're hoping to make the controversial status that will be seen across the country, or make the trending hashtag that everyone will use for a few days, or put up the picture that gets them thousands of followers. Or they could just troll everyone they talk to for the sole purpose of annoying them. Again, they have the shield of a computer screen and who knows what actual distance they have between the person they're insulting. Alfred from The Dark Knight said it best: they can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

I don't know if I'd ever like to be "internet famous". It'd be nice, but there's a lot of unseen drama that can go with it. But if it ever were to happen, I do want to be transparent about what I put up, what I represent, and what I come across as to everyone who sees what I do.

#LoveWins doesn't mean I hate you

Friday was interesting.

June 26, 2015, marks what will probably be viewed as a significant day in US history. The Supreme Court ruled, after much deliberation, that marriage can be between two people, regardless of whatever gender either one is. The official statement from the Court can be seen here, though it is quite lengthy.

The last time I wrote about a topic like this happens to be exactly two years ago, when Proposition 8 was overturned in California. And when I posted the link to that post on Facebook, it was met with a lot of negative feedback from some of my old high school friends. I don't know if the algorithms that Facebook uses today will cause them to see this post as well, since even before I shared that post we were no longer "friends" on Facebook, so we'll just have to see what happens.

This picture pretty much sums up what it's been like to get online in the last two days:

And yes, I know this has been shared by George Takei, who is openly gay.

One of the things that I've seen amongst all the posts saying that people are so happy for this decision, all the newly rainbow-fied profile pictures, etc., is this: #LoveWins. It's been used all over, from companies who previously had never expressed any political statements whatsoever to the White House Twitter showing the building being lit up in rainbow colors. And that hashtag has been included pretty much everywhere.

So if this was a win for "love", then that has to mean that someone lost, right? Well, what's the opposite of love? Hate? And if I'm against gay marriage, then that means I'm on the losing side – the side of hate – right? Correct me if I'm wrong or going too fast down a slippery slope here.
In my last post about this, I felt like I was pretty clear about what I believed a marriage should be: a privilege, not a right, between a man and a woman. And my belief that it should be between a man and woman is religiously based. When I shared that previous post on Facebook, while most of the comments were respectful, it did hurt to be told "shame on you" or that I could "move to another planet". It felt like many of those who were slamming me didn't read through all of what I wrote, but rather just picked and chose what to criticize.

Just like when Prop 8 was overturned, this vote among the Supreme Court Justices wasn't unanimous (both were a 5-4 split), and I feel like many of those who are rejoicing over the decision are either forgetting that fact or just don't acknowledge it. Here are some excerpts from the justices who dissented from the decision, and as an example here's a quote from Chief Justice John Roberts:

If you are one of the many people Americans – of whatever sexual orientation – who favor expanding same-sex marriage, by all means celebrate today's decision. Celebrate the achievement of a desired goal. Celebrate the opportunity for a new expression of commitment to a partner. Celebrate the availability of new benefits. But do not celebrate the Constitution. It had nothing to do with it.

The Constitution doesn't explicitly state anything about marriage. But it is the duty of the judicial branch of our government to interpret the law. Apparently the majority of the current Supreme Court feels that they have the need to add their own definition in of what marriage is.

Some friends of mine have already pointed out that since this ruling has happened, it could quite easily lead to other forms of marriage. I mean, since we're redefining what marriage is and has been for centuries (really millennia), why stop at just making it legal for two men or two women to get married? Why not shake things up a bit and make it so that a man and two women could all be married? Let's bring polygamy back into the picture! Or maybe three men, three women, two kids, and their dog could all be married together? It sounds outrageous now, but so did gay marriage to many, many people just a few decades ago.
My honest opinion on it? It's probably going to happen. Maybe not soon, but if we live in a world where 1) it's acceptable by many to change your gender or even race to whatever you want it to be simply because that's what you "identify as" (referring to Bruce, now Caitlyn, Jenner, and Rachel Dolezal, respectively) and 2) it's already legal to marry inanimate objects... well, it just doesn't seem too far off. A friend of mine posted that "if hearing 'I love you' were enough we would all buy a parrot and get it over and done with." Funny now, but one day it might actually be someone's solution to singleness.

I don't hate gay people. I don't hate that gay marriage is legal throughout the country. And it's not that I hate the fact that homosexuality is even a thing. What pains me is that it's something I don't believe to be right, and yet people who I care about can't fully receive blessings from God if they're not keeping His commandments. Is it easy to tell someone who deals with same-sex attraction to just not act on those feelings? Yeah, it's easy for me to say that, but certainly not easy for someone to hear it or follow it, especially if many of them don't know or believe there's a reason for them not to act on those feelings. I'll freely admit, I really don't know all that many people who identify as anything but straight. So I haven't yet had the chance to really empathize for those who struggle with this. But many of those who I do know and have talked to who are gay, bi, queer, pan, etc. – many of them don't believe in any kind of God in the traditional Christian sense: that He is our creator, that Jesus Christ is His son, etc. Someone from that Facebook thread flatly said "I don't believe in any higher power." That's frustrating for me to hear (in this case, read) when I know that God exists, I know I've been blessed by Him in my life. From another one of the dissenting Justices, Clarence Thomas:

When the Framers proclaimed in the Declaration of Independence that "all men are created equal" and "endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights," they referred to a vision of mankind in which all humans are created in the image of God and therefore of inherent worth. That vision is the foundation upon which this nation was built.

Religion is what helped found this country. Even if you don't believe in the same things I do, or don't believe in anything, that fact is undeniable. And while this may be the new trend that's been set, it's strayed far from what We the People originally believed. From George Washington himself:

It is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey His will, to be grateful for His benefits, and humbly to implore His protection and favor. (source)

Just because it's what five out of nine people believe and have voted on, that doesn't necessarily make it right. Just because there are millions of people screaming that things should be a certain way doesn't mean that it really should be. Just because you don't believe the same things I do doesn't immediately mean either one of us is wrong. And just because I want to try to love you like a friend, like a brother or sister, that doesn't mean that I accept everything that you ever do.
Now please, please don't immediately interpret that as me hating you. Because that's not my intent at all. I don't mean to step on your happiness just as I'm sure you don't mean to step on mine. If it's something that truly does bring you joy, then there isn't much I can do about it, is there? But understand this: I have my beliefs, and I will not hesitate to share them, and share why I hold them.

I'd like to reemphasize what I wrote at the end of my other post about all this. I don't mean to come across as hating anyone for any reason, and I really don't feel like that I did in any part of this post. I apologize if previous words of mine have offended you, and yet I do hope that you can understand where I'm coming from. If you'd like to understand more of why I believe what I believe, I'm happy to point out places you can go.

• mormon.org and lds.org are the two main sites to learn about the doctrine of members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, who are often referred to as Mormons. mormonsandgays.org is another site from the Mormon church that specifically details what our intent is with those who deal with same-sex attraction and how we should interact with each other as part of the human family.
• A document called "The Family: A Proclamation to the World", which has been a long-standing resource for Mormons that explains why we value the traditional family so much. An article called "The Divine Institution of Marriage" explores that document in depth and relates it to many of the issues at hand, citing various sources (not just scriptures).
• A short video with transcript from Michael Otterson, a spokesman for the Mormon church, who stated that while we may not agree with everything that groups such as the Human Rights Campaign lobby for, we do believe and support their equal protections – "We join our voice with others in unreserved condemnation of acts of cruelty or attempts to belittle or mock any group or individual that is different – whether those differences arise from race, religion, mental challenges, social status, sexual orientation or for any other reason."
• A couple speeches from men who I sustain as living apostles. Every six months they, along with many other leaders of the Church, hold a conference available for everyone around the world to watch, hear, or read, and though these aren't the only opportunities to hear them speak, quite often they are the times where they talk about the most pressing topics that the world is dealing with. These two speeches that I've linked to talk a bit about why I feel it's important for me to stay firm to what I believe in, and they express it much better than I usually can.
• A few other perspectives on the whole debate.

I'm not going to rainbow-tint my profile picture on social media. I'm not going to try to tell my bishop to hold a wedding for some gay friends of mine, or write a letter to the leaders of the Church saying that the doctrine should change since that's what's legal in the country. (It's very clear that it won't change because of that.) But that doesn't mean I'll try to degrade or protest outside of a chapel where two men will be getting married, or that I'll insult you through the shield of the internet because I feel that you're wrong. I would much rather talk with you and maintain a friendship instead of spit venomous words at each other.

I don't support everything you do. But I am far, far from hating you.

California!

So a couple weeks ago I talked about going to California for a wedding. I'm finally getting around to posting about it. (If you miss even one week of doing this, it feels near impossible to get back on track and post again...) I'll kinda just talk about how the week went, then post a bunch of pics at the end.

So this wedding was for a couple good friends of mine, Chance Molen and Nicole Scheidt (well... now Nicole Molen). We all knew each other from the last ward we were in. Wednesday of the first week of June, I hopped in a car with some friends, Amy, Jess, and Jess' sister Kaci. We drove almost nonstop and ended up arriving in San Diego right around midnight local time. They all stayed at the Scheidt home, while I stayed with the Raymonds, some family friends that we've known since we lived in Illinois. Their nephew, Dave, who I also knew, was staying with them as well that week, so we ended up just hanging out that first full day I was there and having some fun at the beach. That's really something I've missed since moving away from California; I absolutely love the beach, even if all it is is just playing a bit in the water and laying on the sand. There's just something to me about staring out over the ocean and seeing for miles and miles... It's calming for me, enjoyable, and it's where I feel most at home.

Friday was a bit more hanging out, as well as helping set up for the wedding reception and seeing the temple at night. The San Diego temple is just beautiful, and easily one of my favorites I've ever been to. This is an article that talks a bit about the design of the temple and why it's so unique compared to many of the other temples built around the world. Saturday morning came along, and I was privileged to be present as Nicole and Chance were married for time and all eternity. They're really perfect for each other, and I feel blessed to have been part of the whole event. That evening was the reception, which they just had at an LDS chapel, and it was really well attended. Friends and family came from all over to support them, and many of those who couldn't make it all the way to California for the wedding came to an open house they had here in Utah just yesterday.

After all was said and done on Saturday, we packed back up and began the drive home on Sunday, getting back early that evening. The weather was just perfect the whole week as well, with it being in the high 60's/low 70's each day we were there. No rain clouds to speak of, and pictures when they came out of the temple turned out great. If living in southern California was affordable, and if given the chance I'd definitely live there again.

And now for the pictures! I'll admit that I'm not the best at taking pictures, so I apologize for the blurriness of some of these...

Just sitting on the beach

Lifeguard post at the beach. There were others that actually had guards, don't worry.

Kim Raymond and Dave Watson! Fun times with them

Me just in awe at the amazing Brazilian dinner that Darlene Raymond had made

Jack In The Box. They need more of these in Utah – I think they only have a couple down in St. George, and that's it.

Not a storm, just what they call the "marine layer" coming in

San Diego temple. And this is pretty much how the weather was all week.

Chance and Nicole coming out of the temple!

A little before the reception started

Congratulations to the Molens, a couple I'm proud to call my good friends.

More pictures are available at WedPics.com, where you can create your own wedding album and anyone can upload pictures or videos of their own. They've also got an app for smartphones, making it even easier for anyone to just upload on the fly. I hadn't seen it before, but for whenever I get to the point of marriage for myself, I definitely plan on using it.

That about sums up the trip! I'd love to go back soon and experience more of what California has to offer. I mean, I know I used to live there, but it's literally been years since that was the case.

Playlist: Road Trip

Something I like to do for fun every once in a while is to make playlists for different occasions. I did this pretty often for Divine Comedy, making a specific "setlist" for each show, but even before then I'd been making playlists as a way to pass the time. I figured I'd eventually need to use some of these playlists once in a while, and one opportunity is actually coming up this week. So, as a new kind of post I'll do every so often, I'll post a playlist of 20-30 songs specific to a kind of genre, occasion, or feeling. I'll do my best to post links for each one and explain my reasoning for some of my choices or what each playlist is meant to accomplish.

If you've already read the title, which I hope you have by now, this playlist is meant for road trips, or pretty much any opportunity you'd have to go for long stretches of time cooped up in one place. So these songs are meant to be fun; they help pass the time by distracting you from the tediousness of the road, and in many cases they're already well-known and everyone in the car can sing along. (And it doesn't have to be great singing - again, it's just meant to be a good time.)

• Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen I don't think any road trip music would be complete without this one, so I just got it out of the way to begin with. It's a classic, and for good reason.
• It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) - R.E.M. While not everyone may be able to sing along with the lyrics, it's still a fun one to jam out to.
• Albuquerque - Weird Al Yankovic A lot of the songs I put on here kind of tell their own stories on here, and the story that "Albuquerque" tells is quite entertaining.
• The Impresario - Jake Kaufman and Tommy Pedrini This is probably one of the first ones on here that not as many people will know about. The song is taken from a scene in the game Final Fantasy III (or Final Fantasy VI, depending on how technical you want to get – but I digress). The scene itself is an opera, where one of the characters you play as goes undercover as one of the performers, but ends up being kidnapped. This song is basically a rock opera version of what the game's opera is meant to be, and in a lot of ways similar to Bohemian Rhapsody's conveyance of a story. Think Romeo and Juliet, and it'll make a lot of sense.
• On Top of the World - Imagine Dragons Fun to sing along at the chorus, and the music video for this actually has some friends of mine in it!
• Shut Up And Dance - Walk the Moon This is a catchy one that's come out fairly recently. Easy to sing along with the whole time, and the version I linked to is actually a compilation of dance scenes from various films.
• I Want You Back - Jackson 5 I could put probably any song from the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack here, and it'd be an acceptable choice.
• Don't Stop Me Now - Queen Just fun the whole way through.
• Get Lucky - Daft Punk While most of Daft Punk's songs aren't in quite the same style, the top single they released from their most recent album still holds up. Also, there's a cover by George Barnett that takes away the techno feel and puts a bit more funk in it.
• Our Own House - MisterWives I first heard this song (and this artist) from a beer commercial. While I don't drink alcohol myself, the song caught my attention, and I've actually enjoyed a lot of the songs from MisterWives since discovering them.
• Super Rad - The Aquabats A classic ska anthem, this one I listened to quite often back in the day to pump me up and get me energized.
• Hopeless Wanderer - Mumford and Sons This is more for a singalong – if you've got a large group of people in the car with you, the harmonizing can be incredible.
• Carry On Wayward Son - Kansas Making sure there's a healthy balance of classic rock in here, this song (having been the theme song for the show Supernatural) should be pretty recognizable and enjoyable.
• I'm Alive (Life Sounds Like) - Michael Franti & Spearhead Another underrated song, I heard this one in a commercial for a video game (Rayman Legends) and was immediately hooked. It's just happy all the way through, and great for maintaining high spirits.
• Daylight - Matt and Kim Good for just jamming out for a few minutes, even if you don't know all the words.
• Love and Memories - O.A.R. I like singing along with this one, personally, and from what I remember when it came out it was pretty big. Don't know how many people will still remember the lyrics, but they're not hard to learn.
• Don't Stop Believing - Journey THIS one, however, everybody should know and sing along with. Or at least try to sing along with. It's guaranteed to be heard at any karaoke night, so why not include it here?
• Just Give Me a Reason - P!nk feat. Nate Ruess I think this song is actually quite overplayed on the radio these days, but that doesn't make it any less enjoyable. And if you've got a mix of guys and girls in the car, it makes a fun duet.
• Beat It - Michael Jackson I included this one 1) for the singing aspect and 2) the dancing aspect. I'd kinda like to see someone try to pull off some of the moves from the music video while in the car.
• Tribute - Tenacious D Probably their most famous song, as it gives you a feel for pretty much any other of theirs.
• Livin' On A Prayer - Bon Jovi Another classic rock choice, where everyone can join in on the chorus.
• Freebird - Lynrd Skynyrd I have fond memories of playing this on Guitar Hero 2, going through the whole nine minutes and feeling so accomplished after getting through the second half of this song. Sure, it's not a sing-a-long like the rest of these, but if you wanna rock out, this'll do the job.

Movie soundtracks, especially Disney songs, are quite acceptable as well. If you have any suggestions, please leave them in the comments, and feel free to include links or say why you think they're great for a road trip!

Memorial Day

Saved this post for today instead of Sunday because, well... see the title.
Not too much to say in this week's post, but I did want to share this:

I feel like this pretty accurately portrays the toll taken in any given war. While the recent slew of Marvel movies have been amazing and quite enjoyable, this is a side they don't really cover all that much: the actual number of men and women who give their lives, and even those whose lives are innocently taken from them, in order for one side to claim victory. Captain America here, having now been through literal World Wars and fought on the front lines of battle, knows exactly what each fight means and how it affects everyone involved.

I'm not in the military. I never have been, and never plan to. But I do understand the sacrifice that many have made for this country, and I am grateful for it, so that I can enjoy the rights and freedoms I have. I do have a brother-in-law currently serving in the Navy, and I'm grateful for the service he provides as well. And while we're not in the best situation politically speaking, it's not nearly the size of a World War we're fighting, so I'm grateful for the time I live in where I can say that for the most part, I have enjoyed peace.

Credit goes to Dan Hipp for the image, and my friend Ryan Stevens for finding it in the first place.

May journal update

*If you're wondering why there was no post last week, it was Mother's Day, so I was spending the entire day with family. That, and I put up two posts the week before, so as far as a count for the year I'm still on track with one a week.*

Man I'm tired... But for good reason.

I got to play some laser tag with these awesome guys last night, mostly in celebration of a wedding for the two on the far right, Nicole Scheidt and Chance Molen. They're getting married in a few weeks down in San Diego, and I've been asked to be a groomsman for it. Pretty much everyone here knows them from the ward we were all in together (not quite at the same time, but mostly all together) and I'm super excited for them to finally tie the knot. And getting to take a trip to California will be pretty enjoyable as well, so hopefully while I'm down there I'll be able to do a bunch of fun stuff. A vacation feels pretty warranted at this point...

I'm still working at Deseret Book and PetSmart, and both are getting me at least 20 hours every week. So it's like working full-time, though I usually get a few more from Deseret Book. I switched from doing just receiving to housekeeping and maintenance, with receiving after I get regular chores done. This week required me to fix a toilet in the men's bathroom, as the lever inside the tank ended up breaking. I gotta say, I kinda felt like Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor from Home Improvement. It wasn't a huge repair by any means, but it just felt... I dunno, manly. *insert manly grunt here*

I'm writing this as my parents are talking with my niece over FaceTime. It's just hilarious because she's trying to get them to see the end part of National Treasure (or "Natural Treasure" as she's been calling it) even though they've seen it multiple times. She, and my sister's family, will get to come visit us in about a month, and seeing as how they're living in Hawaii it'll be a real treat to see them again.

I have some pretty stinkin' adorable nieces and nephews.

I may end up finding something besides PetSmart in the next month or two. I like it, but between that and Deseret Book I much prefer DB. I could see myself staying there and possibly making a career out of that much more than PetSmart, but as both are just part-time jobs at the moment we'll see what happens.

That's about it for now. Again, I'll be heading down to SoCal early next month and will probably be taking a TON of pictures, so I'll make sure to post them once I'm home. There may not be a post that week as I'll be driving home on that Sunday, but if that's the case I'll make up for it afterwards.

Plight of the Provo Bachelor: Notes from John Bytheway

So last week I was able to go see a fireside from someone I've always considered to be a great speaker, John Bytheway. (And for those who have never heard of him before, yes, "By the way" is actually his last name.) For as long as I can remember he's been a motivational speaker of sorts in the church, having given multiple talks and firesides, taught at EFY, written many uplifting books alone and with others, and one of his most noticeable traits is that he's just funny. He connects well with audiences because he knows how to make them feel comfortable and happy to be there. This fireside he gave was at a building called the Alpine Tabernacle, and there were at least 700 young single adults in attendance (young single adults meaning within the age range of 18 to 30). No one there, from what I noticed, ever fell asleep, walked out early, carried on their own conversations, anything you might usually see in a group of that size.

Being the audience of young single adults that he was talking to (and if you've noticed the title of this post), you can probably guess what his subject matter was: dating, marriage, and love in a gospel setting. But again, it was all enjoyable; many times when this subject comes up, a groan, audible or not, passes through the crowd. Brother Bytheway made it so enthralling that the majority of people I saw were actually taking notes (another less common occurrence for these kinds of things).

And I happened to be one of the ones taking notes. I'm going to post most of them here, with the hope that 1) anyone reading this can make sense of them, and 2) they uplift others in the same way the fireside uplifted me. I have yet to read it, but it felt like most of the talk was taken from a book he wrote called What I Wish I'd Known When I Was Single. And, by the way, he didn't get married until he was 33 years old. So there's still definitely hope!

I've never really transcribed anything before for a blog, so what I think I'll do is just copy what I wrote down here, then if anyone wants me to expound then I can .

• Alma 52: why would you ever, ever leave your stronghold? It's never a good idea, even for a minute.
• King David stepped out of his stronghold and ended up having all his problems with Bathsheba
• James E. Faust, Nov. '97 Ensign – saw men fall, web of stupidity - all of us must constantly guard against Satan
• Get your act together, then build the forts and swords
• President Uchtdorf's "Stop it!"
• As a bishop, his ward chooses a specific theme each year. One year it was "Onward and upward together". The next was "What is your next step?"
• Article that he wrote from the New Era: "I Have No Friends"
• Don't focus on the things you can't control
• Marriage is pretty much the only commandment you can't keep yourself
• Liberty Jail – there wasn't even a bathroom for them
• D&C 123:17 – let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power
• If you don't feel like you're going anywhere, get a plan, get a course; get multiple plans and keep moving forward
• What I Wish I'd Known When I Was Single
• Boyd K. Packer talked about the DTR – have some patience
• 1982, Bruce C. Hafen, "The Gospel and Romantic Love" – don't date someone you know you'd never marry
• You can hurt them a little or hurt them a lot in a DTR. Don't postpone the inevitable; if it's a rejection, it'll be either cutting their leg clean off or doing it an inch at a time.
• Patience and honesty
• Don't get your dating advice from unofficial Church musicals
• Bruce R. McConkie – I never asked the Lord who to marry, I asked the Lord to confirm it
• Boyd K. Packer, "Eternal Love" – no belief in "soul mates"
• "Faith Precedes the Miracle" – Spencer W. Kimball
• The Lord loves you too much to let your life be too easy
• Take it a day at a time
• Sometimes going back to "just friends" is impossible
• The wrong one is the right one to lead you to the best one
• Make a chart with two columns, on the left make a list of what others think of you and on the right make a list of what God thinks of you. Which do you believe is correct?
• "What more can He say than to you He hath said?"
• Express affection carefully – approaching the law of chastity with honesty
• Is it possible to lie with our actions?
• Another New Era article he wrote: "What Do Kisses Mean?"
• Always be emotionally honest about expressions of affection
• Worldly idea of "friends with benefits" is wrong; the "non-committal make out" is a lie
• Thomas S. Monson, Nov. '90 Ensign – take care not to make women weep, for God counts their tears
• What is "falling in love"?
• "In love" is an irrational state – it's odd that people seek out temporary insanity like that
• David O. McKay – Gospel Ideals – If you meet a girl who inspires you to do your best...
• Ezra Taft Benson – a good yardstick – do you think your noblest thoughts around them? Do they make you want to be better?
• Marry someone you respect and admire
• We get why it's so important, but why is it so urgent?
• It avoids risks of temptation, promotes family growth, it's an ordinance, our biological clocks are ticking, our choices of potential spouses narrow out as we get older, and it's just a better way to live
• Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball – marriage is a greater ecstasy than the human mind can conceive
• Mark E. Peterson – take as few problems to the altar as you can
• Marriage is not a place to change someone else
• The key to spiritual guidance is worthiness
• Play what you can play, sing at the top of your lungs
• Karen Lynn Davidson – "I have yet to see marriage by itself turn an unhappy person into a happy one"
• 1 Nephi 4:6 – "And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do."
• D&C 111:11 – I will order all things for your good
• March '89 Ensign, Cormack – marriage is likely to come naturally – live life fully
• March 2, 1997, Jeffrey R. Holland – "let not your heart be troubled" is a commandment
• Neal A. Maxwell – '85 conference talk – in the pattern He has planned
• "I would if I could" – wanting and doing all you can is of inestimable value
• Come up to higher ground and let the Lord help you

I'm sure a lot of these notes can apply to those already in relationships or even those already married, but again I just wanted to share them because they were uplifting to me. And the video below is one of the talks he gave at an Education Week at BYU in 2003, entitled "Especially for Young Single Adults: Who, When, and Why We Marry". I'm going to watch it later when I get the chance, as it's about an hour long, but if it's anything like his other talks it'll be just as entertaining.

To all my friends out there who are single, enjoy!