The Plight of the Provo Bachelor: Online Dating, Part 2

A bit of a late post this week, and my apologies for such. I recently got a job working at Subway, so pretty much all of my afternoons have been occupied with that, and this week in particular is a performance week for Divine Comedy, so my nights have been occupied as well. Next week I should be posting earlier, either on Tuesday or Wednesday, as usual.
Also, as a slight disclaimer, I happen to use the terms "woman" and "girl" interchangeably. Usually I say "girl" when meaning to "woman" when I talk. And since I write like I talk, especially on here, I'll most likely say "girl" when referring to a woman around my age.

On my last post of this series, a friend of mine from my mission left a comment. (He's also currently single.) Here's a good chunk of it:

Marshall, have you read any PUA [pick-up artist] books? Art of Attraction? The Game by Neil Straus? Have you read dating blogs such as the one at www.doclove.com? I'd be interested to know what you think about these compilations of dating strategies. On one hand, their advice may seem to be difficult and undesirable to our cultural tastes (for example, most of them talk about men needing to be mysterious or act like a jerk sometimes, in order to seem unattainable to women, apparently this works) However, there's a TON of material here that's been tested and tried, and most of it is the same, so I tend to give it all credit. 

I will say that while dating online, I get far better results by being cocky, mysterious, and ocassionally negging the girl, than I would by being my normal, sensitive, open, practical self. On dates I've gotten a little better at acting a little distant and disinterested in the girl I'm with... it's been amazing to see how the girl suddenly starts asking me a bunch of questions and laughing at my jokes in order to get my attention when I do that. Normally I'm the one trying to keep her attention with stories and jokes and questions, you know? Yes, it could be manipulation or deceit, but perhaps our yearning desire to marry is something that should be covered up? Perhaps a mature, self-fulfilled man who has tons of experience with women naturally acts like that, and that's what women are looking for? I don't know, but I think it'd be interesting if you reviewed dating advice for men found in the environments I mentioned, I'd like your perspective on it.

Since he posted his comment publicly, I decided that responding publicly would be appropriate. So here's my perspective.
I have never bought or read a book about how to meet girls. I have never subscribed to any podcasts or blogs or magazines, anything of the such as to how to meet people. And I probably never will. I do not believe that there is any one method to do so. In fact, I sincerely doubt that one method applies to everyone in the world. For the success that I've had in my past relationships, I didn't use the same "method" to start dating any of them. And that's because each of them were different.
As I've said before on this blog, if I'm interested in someone, I will most likely ask them out. And if they say yes, then while on the date then I'll show that interest and try to have a conversation, spending equal time listening and talking.
I am not cocky, nor mysterious. If it ever comes across to someone that I am, then let it be known that I don't try to be. And as far as "negging"the girl, I don't do that at all. ("Negging," as defined by urbandictionary.com, means "low-grade insults meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to your advance. This is something no decent guy would do," emphasis added. There is some slight language on urbandictionary, so proceed to the link at your own discretion.) Why would I insult someone that I'm trying to court? Why would I act like someone I'm not? Why would lying be attractive at all to someone?
Don't get me wrong; I don't mean to say that there isn't any helpful advice out there for relationships and meeting people. I've got a number of articles bookmarked in my browser about what helps a relationship stay strong. I've seen many posts that I enjoyed reading through, and plan on implementing some of their advice later on in my life. But anything that advises me to be something that I know I'm not? That does not seem right at all.
I don't think it's good idea or even appropriate to straight-up say "Hey, I'm looking to get married soon. Here's to hoping you're the one." And that's for a couple reasons: first, I'm certain that that would freak most girls out right away. And second, I'm not ready for marriage right now anyway. Is it something I want eventually? Yes, of course. Am I working towards that? Yes, I feel like I'm doing the best I can at the moment. And both of those qualities are ones that I'd hope to find in the girl I would date. Taking it slow, making sure to really get to know each other, but still wanting and working towards marriage. I don't really see a point to dating unless the intent is to find someone to be with forever. Otherwise, any supposed satisfaction that could happen in this life would leave me feeling empty by the end of it all.